Two things every discipleship Group must have
Over the years, I have started dozens of discipleship groups. Each one had the same intention, that people would grow in Christ-likeness. Yet, I have noticed a pattern in my own ministry and I see this same pattern in other groups and ministries I have observed and studied. Over time most groups devolve into support groups. Largely because life is hard and we all need encouragement. I have also seen discipleship groups devolve the other way, where they become learning groups, with little support. When the groups shift from discipleship groups to support groups or simply learning groups, they are walking in only half of what Jesus modeled for us. Jesus’ model had a balance of the two things we all need.
Discipleship groups should function differently than typical small groups in that they represent both sides of the character of God. The Gospel writer John introduces Jesus as the one Son from the Father, who was full of grace and truth. God is simultaneously strong and tender, and followers of Christ will be transformed by the Spirit of Christ over time and become simultaneously strong and tender themselves. The relationships we put ourselves in to develop these two characteristics are simultaneously tender and strong. In churches today, we tend to offer models that are high in tenderness and low in strength. People are invited, welcomed, and encouraged to be a part of the group (tender and grace), but seldom challenged (truth and strength) and held accountable for taking up their cross and following Jesus.
Small groups can become information-oriented rather than transformation-oriented. People gather together and try to get the facts of Christianity correct and to share an occasional prayer request. Discipleship guru Alan Hirsch wrote, “The academy demands passivity in the student, whereas discipleship requires activity. If discipleship primarily involves becoming like Jesus, then it cannot be achieved by the mere transfer of information divorced from the context of ordinary, lived life.”
Effective discipleship will involve taking the learning that is acquired and applying it to everyday life. A group of dads that meets every week will become inspired when they apply the material they are studying together to their lives. The application allows them to see the material come alive and makes them want to study and learn. It also puts them in a position where they must trust the Lord and depend on God for direction for their lives, rather than meeting weekly simply for the sake of learning together.
Effective discipleship is done through the lens of the gospel of grace and will revolve around training others to embrace their gospel identity and then discerning how to live out that identity in the world. In 2 Corinthians the Apostle Paul tells us that if “Anyone is in Christ, he is a new creation, the old has gone and the new has come.” Discipleship guru Mike Breen’s discipleship program focuses on this new life that is offered in the gospel. It is not something that naturally happens, but something that God has designed to come out through the power of the Holy Spirit working in a group. Breen noted, “It is our experience that people want to grow but are unable to will themselves to transformation. They need relationships and structures that keep them accountable and moving toward Jesus. They also know the only way this can happen is with high commitment.”
Building healthy discipleship relationships can take a few different forms, but acceptance and accountability will both be present. Counselor and author Larry Crabb wrote, “Jesus brought ordinary men together in authentic relationships where He equipped them to accomplish extraordinary tasks. That was, and is, the elegant simplicity of God’s plan to make men who will be qualified to reach other men.” Disciples come alive in the Spirit of God as they together discern the extraordinary things God is calling them to become and to do.
The end goal of these groups is to reach more men and women with the power of the gospel. Breen calls these discipling relationships huddles. Breen suggests that, “A Huddle is the group of four to ten people you feel God has called you to specifically invest in, and you will meet with them regularly (at least every other week) to intentionally disciple them in a group setting.” These huddles are modeled after the original huddle created by Jesus with his disciples. Huddle relationships revolve around two main principles: invitation and challenge. Breen wrote:
Time and time again in the Gospels, we see Jesus functioning as a classic horsewhisperer, inviting his followers into an intimate relationship with him while also initiating a direct challenge to behaviors he knew were either wrong or unhealthy... He drew his disciples closer, loved them, but also gave them the opportunity to accept the responsibilities of discipleship.
Jesus created a highly-inviting, but highly-challenging culture for his disciples to function and grow within, and he challenges his followers to do the same. Breen wrote:
Fundamentally, effective leadership is based upon an invitation to a relationship and a challenge to change. A gifted discipler is someone who invites people into a covenantal relationship with him or her, but challenges that person to live into his or her true identity in very direct yet graceful ways. Without both dynamics working together, you will not see people grow into the people God has created them to be.
The effective leader will remind people who they are already are in Christ, and simultaneously of the power of God working in them to bring God’s Kingdom to the world. Everyone in the church, but especially men, needs someone speaking that kind of truth in and out of their lives. Discipleship, at its core, is learning to love God with all of our heart, soul, mind, and strength and then loving our neighbor well.
At Legacy, we are building groups that balance these two things and we are training and equipping leaders to be simultaneously tender and strong. It is our goal that these leaders will create discipling relationships that are full of invitation, but all also replete with challenge. We would love to have you join a Legacy group or even better become a Legacy Leader and start your own group. Simply click on the link to learn more.
