In this article we will discuss…

1. Why we build relationships

2. The need in the world for relationships

3. How to build relationships

4. The challenges to building relationships

Relationships are the “secret sauce” of the Our True Legacy ministry. 

In the food world, the secret sauce is what sets apart a boring dish from a great one. It’s what brings that special flavor that you can’t get enough of and keeps you coming back for more. That’s what relationships are to us. 

Why do we focus on building relationships?

First of all, it’s Biblical. In Genesis 2, God said that it is not good for a man to be alone! And in John 15:15, Jesus said, “I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master’s business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you.”

It is the most effective way to impact another person’s life. Think back to the impactful moments of your life and almost always there is a PERSON that you will point to who was instrumental in making that happen. Someone told you about Jesus. Someone introduced you to your wife. You get the idea.

People over programs wins every time. Sometimes programs can attract people and build crowds but at the end of the day, without that personal relationship the programs will fade. Throughout church history the way to reach the world is to follow the words of Jesus to GO make disciples - not stay home and develop programs. 

Is there really a need today for relationships?

The most connected generation is also the most isolated. It’s crazy that with all of the technology available to us today which allows us to communicate, most people would say that they feel lonely. “Screen isolation” is a real thing. People communicate almost exclusively from the privacy and security of their phones where they can control every text or post; they can follow/unfollow, allow messages or block them; they can initiate contact with someone or “ghost” them (simply stop responding). Getting together “in person” actually has to be explicitly stated otherwise the assumption is it’ll be online. 

The “Covid hangover” is real. People stopped going to church or to the gym or the club. We all got used to ordering everything on Amazon or just “googling it”. Even grocery shopping is online now with delivery and many restaurants never returned to “in person dining” because take out and delivery was more cost effective. So who wants to go to all the trouble and extra time going to a gathering “in person” when you can meet over zoom or just watch the livestream? People are in desperate need of relationships and don’t even know it.

How do we actually “do” relationships?

Pray for “divine appointments”. We have to realize that God is already working in the world and in people’s lives. if we ask Him to lead us to people and to bring people to mind or across our path, He will do it. These will be people you already know and sometimes people you meet for the first time. If your “spiritual eyes & ears” are open - watching and listening - God will give you really cool opportunities!

Be proactive and intentional. A big part of the great commission to “go make disciples” is to actually GO - both physically, actually going “in person” to places where you can meet people and be available for the Holy Spirit to use you. This also means that when the Lord brings people to mind after you have asked, then YOU have to be the one to initiate getting together or doing something together - even if it’s just to have a coffee or go for a walk. Be proactive and intentional. 

Practice meaningful conversations. Practice empathy, asking God to give you insight into their lives and into where they are coming from. Don’t judge people but rather love them for who they are, not for who you want them to become. Learn to really listen. Hear their pain and what brings them joy. Ask lots of open ended questions. And at the end of the conversation, offer to pray for them - in person, out loud, right then and there. I’ve never been turned down in that situation and many times I’ve looked up from my short prayer to see tears as I realize this may be the first time anyone has ever prayed for them in this way. Then don’t forget to follow up!

What are the challenges to building relationships?

What are some of the best excuses for not building relationships? This doesn’t apply to me. I’m not an extrovert like you. My faith is private so I don’t talk about it with people. I do other stuff to serve that doesn’t require this. I don’t have time. People don’t like me. Whatever the excuse, that’s all it is - an excuse for a lack of faith or lack of obedience. 

It’s a LOT easier to NOT focus on relationships. Let’s face it, relationships can be messy and complicated and hurtful and if nothing else, just flat out inconvenient. It means overcoming some of those “excuses” mentioned in the previous paragraph because those are often real feelings. It means taking risks. It can be uncomfortable to initiate with someone for the purpose of intentionally building a relationship. And it DOES take time and often emotional energy which we don’t always have. And it’s always hard to just start something. 

How can we overcome these challenges? We must be motivated by the Lord, which means we must be walking closely with Him first ourselves. 2 Corinthians 5:14 says, “The love of Christ compels us…” This is the only way. We must be driven - compelled - to build relationships - go go make disciples only by His Spirit living in us and filling us with compassion for a lost world which desperately needs the message of Jesus which we bring personally and purposefully one relationship at a time.

So, yes, it’s hard. But it is the most rewarding thing. And relationships as we’ve described them here definitely are the secret sauce of Our True Legacy.